Picture this: you’re sitting in a meeting, surrounded by accomplished colleagues, but deep down, you’re convinced you don’t belong. Sound familiar? Well, you’re not alone. Today, we’re diving into the murky waters of imposter syndrome.
Do you ever feel like you’re secretly winging it while waiting to be exposed? Well, if you do, likely, you’re experiencing imposter syndrome – and you’re not alone! Did you know up to 70% of high achievers battle this? Imposter syndrome secretly undermines our talents. In this game-changing episode, we’re going inside the minds of imposters to uncover what fuels those fraudulent feelings; you’ll learn actionable techniques to crush self-doubt for good with research-backed strategies you can start using TODAY! Get ready to step into confidence and start owning your awesomeness!
Identifying Imposter Syndrome
Let me pull back the curtain and get personal from the start because I used to struggle seriously with imposter syndrome in my business career. I battled those same inner fraudulent feelings, saying, “You’re fooling them!” despite increasing external proof of competence. It felt totally crippling at times, wondering when I’d be “exposed.” When I first joined my husband’s garbage business, I couldn’t tell the difference between a self-contained and a breakaway compactor. Calculating pricing for contracts required me to pull out a formula cheat sheet. I felt like everyone on the outside expected me to know what the heck I was doing, but I felt like I was just fumbling around and getting lucky. It took a long time of shadowing my husband, ears peeled to the ground, and attending industry meetings before I could confidently program – I Am A Waste Expert. But boy, when I did – did it feel good. The reality is everyone has to start somewhere. But the difference between winners and losers or imposters and experts are those that stick with it.
So, trust me, if you are battling with imposter syndrome, I get it. I want to share some unique techniques that helped me reframe those sabotaging thoughts when they creep up.
Tell me if this sounds familiar…
That nagging voice in your head—you know, the voice that chimes in just when you’re about to hit ‘send’ on that email or walk into that important meeting. It’s like having a tiny heckler in your brain shouting, ‘You’re not good enough!’ ‘Reread it; you did it wrong.’ while simultaneously stealing your spotlight. Can we get that guy a ticket to somewhere else, please?
You scored an exciting promotion at work but worry secretly that it’s only a matter of time before everyone discovers you’re not actually that impressive. Hello, self-doubt.
You nailed a presentation, according to everyone else, that is. But in the background, that inner self-critic is on full blast. “They were just trying to be nice. “You dissect every single word and gesture. You replay every moment. The congratulations come, but you
immediately dismiss it: “Eh, I could’ve done better.” Hello, perfectionism. This was me a few months ago, giving a presentation I’d done at least a dozen times before. Thank goodness I had recorded the speech because, going back, I could see what everyone else said. A poised, confident, educated woman who was killing it on stage.
“You look like you lost weight.” – “Oh, it’s just the black; it’s slimming.” Yep. Me again. Finally, my coach said, “Just take the darn compliment and say thank you.” Tough love. Right.
Ever find yourself downplaying talents or accomplishments that should make you proud? Do you sometimes feel like a fraud, just pretending competence when someone will expose you at any minute?
When I heard that an estimated 70% of people wrestle with this secret affliction, I felt better because I was no longer alone. And when you hear of some of the celebrities we view as crazy talented, like Tom Hanks, suffering from the same affliction, you’ll feel even more at home.
All types of high achievers are plagued with these fraudulent feelings, which is a shame because the disconnect comes with consequences for mental health, motivation, and career trajectory if it becomes chronic.
Understanding the Roots
So, have you ever considered why so many successful go-getters get trapped battling a voice inside that insists we don’t measure up? And, if so, have you become curious about how you can finally become your greatest fan club?
Today, my goal is to get real with you because it’s time we cut through the noise and expose the impact of impostor syndrome. Then, I want to equip you to recognize those sneaky symptoms and unlock science-backed strategies for feeling as awesome as you truly are.
How often have you heard worn-out phrases like “believe in yourself,” “you’ve got this,” or “just be confident”? We get so numb to those cliches we tune them out. Uck. When you feel like an imposter, that’s the last thing you believe. But I have to tell you there is some serious wisdom buried there.
Before we get into it.
What fuels those early fraudulent feelings for so many – and how do you evolve past them? One thing I know from Ayurveda, the world’s oldest holistic healing system, is that whether it is the body or the mind, you must get to the root cause; otherwise, any fix is temporary.
Think about it: many human experiences begin with feelings and emotions. That’s why it’s crucial to grasp the emotional foundation. Impostor syndrome creeps in when we start linking our sense of self-worth too closely to our accomplishments, and let’s face it, no one wins 100% of the time. If they do, go get them to buy you a lottery ticket. Instead of finding validation within ourselves, we often seek it externally, only feeling worthy when we meet specific standards perfectly.
Since no one wins 100% of the time, self-doubt inevitably follows perceived shortfalls. Do you recognize that pattern? Then, let’s get to the insights on shifting it.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
I want to share some incredible insights I’ve gained from dealing with those pesky fraudulent feelings in my journey. Instead of lecturing you, I thought sharing an exercise I tried might be more helpful when I felt like a total impostor. My aim is to help your inner world catch up with those big dreams I know you’ve got swirling around in your head.
So, if you are ready for it… here it goes. Alright, buckle up because I’ve had four different careers. Yes. You heard that right. Club Management, Hospitality Consulting, Finance, and, believe it or not, Garbage. Yeah, I know, quite the mix! Every time I started a new career, those feelings of impostor syndrome would rear their ugly heads. Even though each career was built on skills I had already mastered, my mind would tell me, “This time it’s different,” and “You’re not ready.” But it wasn’t until I got into coaching that I stumbled upon this powerful tool that finally helped me ditch those sweaty palms, swirling thoughts, and racing hearts and fully embrace my business insights. Ready to hear more about it?
Before you hear the confidence in this podcast today, let me give you the lowdown. There were plenty of times when I thought I would fail miserably, and everyone would see right through me. It didn’t matter how many degrees, certifications, or awards I had under my belt. Every day, external proof seemed to tell me I was succeeding. Still, internally, I was just waiting for everything to fall apart. Call it perfectionism, call it self-doubt, call it whatever you want – it sucked. There was always this strange gap between my achievements and how I felt about them. With most accomplishments, my impostor syndrome would kick into high gear, whispering, “Gotcha! You don’t know a thing.”
Privately, those overwhelming feelings of fraud haunted me. Then, one day, I mustered up the courage to spill it all to a mentor, which was eye-opening. She asked me a bunch of questions, and each answer I gave contradicted my feelings of fraudulence. Then, she guided me through this powerful practice I will share with you. It sounds like a bit out there, but bear with me! It sparked some major shifts for me.
Here’s the deal – this isn’t a one-and-done kind of thing. Sorry. When you go through this exercise yourself, jot it all down. Because ANY TIME those old feelings rear their ugly heads again, whispering about your worthiness or authenticity, you will pull out your writings! Read what your future confident self has to say, loud and clear, providing all the evidence to the contrary.
So, here’s what my mentor told me to do. She said to visualize myself five or ten years down the road, where my wildest dreams have come true. Everything I’ve ever wanted has materialized, and I’ve made the impact I’ve always hoped for. Then she said, “Meet your future, wiser self.” Oh boy, that hit me. She wanted my future self to speak compassionately but firmly to the impostor version of me. Well, at first, I thought this was corny. I’m a type A personality. I have little patience for games or pretend games, but I went along with it. I don’t remember the exact words from the first time, I wish I had written them down, but I’ve revisited the exercise since then. Essentially, it went something like this. Let me get my paper.
“Look, I know it’s scary to face your big dreams when you feel like your skills don’t measure up, but trust me, you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t ready. Stop letting society and old beliefs dictate your worth. Stop letting people convince you that success is out of reach. I’m here to tell you they’re dead wrong. All those doubts and fears telling you that you won’t make it? Lies. The journey ahead might have some unexpected twists and turns – that’s how greatness is built. But you’ve got the determination to push through. Let your dreams guide you through the messy middle. Laugh off that self-doubt. Put that impostor on a timeout. Trust what I’m telling you from this future reality. Stay true to yourself, and stay in integrity. You’ve got this. The struggle just shows how big of a winner you really are.”
I get pumped up and get goosebumps just reading it!
Alright, so this part is crucial. While your journey might differ a bit, I encourage you to try this exercise. Trust me, it will send shivers down your spine as you visualize all the amazing things you’re meant for and give yourself that much-needed pep talk. Nobody else’s words will hit home as much as your own. The key here is to fully immerse yourself in that future version of you enough to send authentic inspiration back to the current you who’s feeling crushed under the weight of impostor syndrome.
Here’s a little trick: I surround myself with vivid reminders, so I can’t forget the truths I know when I feel confident. Seriously, just glance at my license plate. It’s a bulldozer model or my keychain. Choose your hard and follow the F’ing plan, and you’ll get what I mean. I even have certain outfits that my Future Self wears, and they bring a whole wave of confidence. I feel like the nice but powerful version of Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada.
Let’s say you do the exercise, and it sparks something within you, but then life throws you those inevitable curveballs. Let’s chat about other ways to keep that gut reaction of diminishing wins in check and start owning them proudly.
First off, get yourself accountable with a peer or a coach who won’t let you brush off your accomplishments so easily. Just like I did, when impostor syndrome rears its head, having someone on the outside to dig deeper when you start downplaying your achievements is invaluable.
Another super helpful thing is to actually list out the evidence supporting your skills. Whether that means creating a folder with all your certifications—I’ve done that—it’s super helpful to have it all in one place when people ask you to upload proof.
Create a list of books you’ve read or accomplishments, or simply update your LinkedIn profile with your skill set. Personally, I keep a spreadsheet with testimonials. Whenever I doubt myself, I open that document, give it a read, and find myself nodding along, saying, “Yep, that’s me!” Having concrete proof right before you forces you to acknowledge your strengths.
And here’s a great practice: write down your victories each month, detailing all those little wins. If you’ve been following my journey, you know I’m all about those small victories and checking things off lists. It’s like my internal testimonial list when you keep track of your wins – and I’m not talking about adding more work here, just a simple sheet with your victories. Last month, I’m proud to report that I added the International Coaching Federation credential to my list. My business became a certified Woman Owned Small Business – and let me tell you, neither was a walk in the park to get. You can read through the accomplishments whenever you question whether you deserve specific roles. Reminding yourself often that you’ve delivered those results is solid evidence for that questioning brain of yours!
The Snap Back System
Alright, let’s dive into the topic of setbacks. How do you usually bounce back from them? Let’s do a quick pop quiz: Imagine you’ve completely bombed a major presentation at work. How do you typically react?
One of the best things you can do is embrace failure and see it as feedback to improve your skills. As you do, self-doubt gradually diminishes as your abilities grow stronger from those challenging moments. It won’t be easy every time, but if you channel your frustration into expanding your talents without the added weight of feeling like a fraud, you ultimately decide who benefits most from your setbacks: that pesky impostor or your future, fist-pumping self.
Now, let’s talk about the Snap Back System – cue the catchy tune in your head. Oh, oh, oh, oh. In Your snap back. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Three simple steps to the snapback system. Say that fast. First, give that impostor voice a name and call it out directly. “Ah, there’s my old friend Ms. Insecurita!”
Next, intentionally shift your focus to finding solutions. Put those negative thoughts on the back burner and look at what action steps can help you course-correct now. Getting out of emotion and into logic can help deflate catastrophic thinking fast.
Finally, talk to yourself like you would a respected colleague after a stumble, or better yet, channel your future self. Lead with compassion, though, because you’re only human! Regaining perspective is what will set you up to move forward.
I hope that all makes sense? Naming the sabotaging voice, redirecting to solutions, and offering yourself some self-compassion are effective ways to dismantle impostor traps when applied well.
So, embrace your power, stop playing it safe, stop being polite. If you’re ready, walk with me because it’s time to meet your destiny head-on. Let’s do this!
